The “WHY” Behind Unwinding Perfect
The Why
A couple years ago, I began making courageous decisions, albeit I didn’t know they were courageous at the time. I’m sure some considered them unthinkable, and sometimes, I did too. In spite of seemingly “having it all” – a successful career, co-leading a thriving health tech company that was transforming lives and communities, an almost sixteen-year marriage, and two beautiful children – I finally listened to the voice inside nudging me, telling me there was a different path; a path filled with deeper connections, an abundance of opportunities, and fulfillment of my life’s purpose.
It was time for me to step into my full authenticity, a move that ultimately meant leaving much of my seemingly perfect life behind and unraveling the childhood conditioning and generational patterning that had brought much of the outward success. I had checked many boxes, and garnered personal and professional accomplishments (and accolades) that my younger self could only have dreamt of. But these things were no longer serving me in the ways I had hoped. While I didn’t fully understand it yet, it was becoming increasingly more clear that this life which offered much material success was built upon a tireless pursuit of perfection. Subconsciously living and running from one thing to the next, learned behaviors from my childhood were stopping me from embracing the full spectrum of who I was and what my true life’s purpose was. This was no longer good enough for me. It was time to take the reins and reclaim the woman I had suppressed for so long.
At times, my choices have put me on a path that has been lonely and heartbreaking, but they have also required me to be brave and bold in ways I didn’t know were possible. I believe both experiences are necessary to gain clarity and perspective, and I’m eager to share these hard-earned, yet beautiful realizations with the world. On April 22, I will be releasing my first book, Unwinding Perfect, where I share my journey, the intense and fruitful self-work that got me to where I currently am. My hope with this book is to help others recognize that the time is now to break free of one-size-fits-all expectations, unearth your true-self, embrace the fullness of who you are, replace fear with vulnerability, and stand confidently in your unique power.
How I Got Here
While I grew up in a home teeming with love, like so many of us, I was also conditioned by years of well-intentioned childhood patterning. Intuiting learned behaviors from both of my parents, as well as recognizing what behaviors made me feel “love” from my family, created a persona that I took with me into adulthood. This resulted in a pursuit of perfectionism in nearly every aspect of my life, often chasing success defined by society standards. I did it well, yet all of the success did not fill me the way I had thought it would, and I realized these realities were actually holding me back from the life I dreamed of and deserved. Breaking free from lifelong patterns and generational programming was terrifying, but it prompted worthwhile change.
I began to create a new definition of success, one in alignment with my inner knowing; one that could fuse materiality and spirituality. I still desired ambition, but this time it was different; I began to care less about outward success and more about uncovering my individuality, my truth and ultimately, showing up as my most authentic self. This may sound like a straightforward process, but it was anything but. The pressure for validation from others is tremendous – especially for generations of women whose lives have been built around meeting external measures of success. Women have been told that if they work hard, get married, and have children – and do it perfectly enough – they can have it all. But so many of us still feel empty inside, losing sight of our actual selves and purpose. I knew that reclaiming who I was would be challenging, but I also understood that my heart had to break in order to rebuild and pave the path toward genuine joy and fulfillment.
Anchoring In Who You Are
I believe strongly that no matter who you are, or where you might be along your own path, it’s time to stop the pursuit of check listed society standards and begin to write your own.
Doing this takes courage, but when you replace fear with vulnerability, you can disarm the hold that fear has over your life. Stepping into this change means that fear will no longer hold power over you or hold you back from your true power. This shift begins when you can stop looking outward and turn inward to build your life from the self up.
The best part is you don’t need permission from anyone to do this- you already have it. And this inner power isn’t something you need to cultivate- it’s already there, within you. By quieting your mind, sitting in silence, and focused practice, you can begin to remember who you innately are. When you can deepen into this truth, you deepen into your inherent wholeness, and realize all you could possibly desire already exists inside of you. No doubt hard days will still come, but embracing the full you is something you can return to time and time again. There is immense peace in the acceptance of both your bright and dark sides, and knowing that you, wholly, imperfectly, are enough.
Stepping into your power and embracing all of who you are is critical, but it doesn’t stop there. The ultimate goal is freedom. For me, this comes from living a life fully anchored in my true self, from a place of genuine self-alignment. While this continues to take practice and focus daily, each day it becomes more and more natural. When we anchor to our most authentic self, we build deeper connections and create more meaning and purpose for ourselves, our lives and those around us.
The Invitation
Unwinding Perfect is an invitation for anyone who isn’t yet comfortable in their authentic self to understand these truths more fully, prioritize the self and embark on a journey of inner-discovery. Writing Unwinding Perfect was an incredible process of catharsis for me, but I knew I wanted to still do more, and continue to help transform lives and communities in a myriad of ways. This year, I founded co-foundHer, a boutique advisory firm specific to entrepreneurs on a path to profit and enlightenment. co-foundHer supports the integration of the material and higher-self, bringing balance to entrepreneurs and founders intent on stepping into their fullest potential.
If there is one thing I hope people take away from my message and my work, it is this unwavering truth: you are Enough. If you have an inner voice nudging you that there might be something more, there is. And everything you need to step into the life you desire and deserve is already within you.
